I had a mentor ask me a question recently that has caused me to do a lot of thinking. He said, “What do your want…..what do you really, really want?”
It seems like a fairly innocent question, but the truth is that is amazing complex. It’s been said that we spend more time planning our vacations than our lives and I believe that is often true.
When I coach leaders and producers, I find that they often want answers to the what and how questions before they have ever asked the more important question, why?
I know I often find myself seeking these answers as well. Maybe you do to.
So let me ask you they same question that was asked to me. What do you want….what do you really, really want?
If this question is challenging for you, let me offer some encouragement. Identifying what you really want in your life is not easy. In fact, there are many reasons why you may be struggling with this question as I have.
Identifying a dream takes work and here are five reasons why.
1) Not everyone wants to see you succeed.
It would be great if everyone you met was your biggest cheerleader. However, often, it’s the opposite. When you decide what it is you really want and you pursue it, others will tell you it’s pointless, not worth your time, or too much effort. If you want something bad enough you must ignore the haters. They will not help you get what you want.
2) Your past failures may be holding you back.
If you are old enough to read this, you have already made countless mistakes. Some mistakes are easy to overcome like running the dishwasher without any detergent (I just did that today), yet other mistakes can be dream crushers,like watching your business fail. Failure is simply the price you must pay to get what you really want. Embrace it.
3) You have bought into the mediocrity mindset.
When you don’t know what you really want in life it can become all to easy to settle for average. Successful people don’t just hope for their dream, they see it, feel it, sense it, taste it, and touch it. Is your vision for what you want clear? Don’t allow yourself to fall into the mediocrity mindset.
4) You don’t believe you can really have what you want.
To identify what you want, you have to subconsciously believe you can attain it. This comes from you and no one else. Management consultant Judith Bardwick affirms that “Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself–your strengths and your limitations–in contrast to depending on the affirmations of others, from the outside.”
5) You must get creative.
I love watching my kids play. They are naturally creative and imaginative. They are not easily discouraged and are always coming up with new ideas. As adults, we often allow life experiences to impede our curiosity. Thinking and dreaming big doesn’t make you a fool, it makes you seek your fullest potential.
Author Robert Orben stated, “Always remember there are only two kinds of people in this world–the realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going. The dreamers have already been there.”
So let me ask you again, “What do YOU want…..what do YOU really, really want?